This is a phrase coined by Jane Kenyon, our star Diva to describe a behaviour model that many professional, career women manifest. It focuses on our need to be perfect and control way too much.
A woman in this space has incredibly high expectations of herself. She has to be perfect at everything – the best mum, the best wife, the best boss, the best domestic goddess, the best, best friend, the best neighbour, the best social host, the best lover, the best sister, the best mum at the school gate – you get the picture?
Because she is aiming for perfection all the time she feels the people around her have low expectations and simply cannot do what she does as well as her – who would want to? It’s exhausting! Ever hear this one – ‘I just cannot find the staff.’ ‘I might as well do it myself, it’s quicker.’
All this leads to her controlling the whole show at home and at work. This is not an attractive proposition to the opposite sex as it tends to shift her energy into the male domain thus disempowering her nearest and dearest and work colleagues/team.
At this point women start to complain about juggling, no work/home life balance and expressing feelings of exhaustion and lack of ‘me time’ etc.
Also as this level of activity is not sustainable several plates may start to crash to the ground and at this point the strong woman in question becomes a victim as she blames everyone else around her for the damage.
A confusing life model eh? Superwoman to victim in the same model of behaviour, often occurring on the same day and often the same hour!
Doing everything does not give you power. It gives you a headache and is exhausting but learning to let go demands a shift in mindset and a reframe on the word VULNERABLE. Asking for help, sharing and allowing others, particularly a man to look after you once in a while is not a crime.
If any of this resonates with you, invest a day of your time to review the evidence, discuss this with other women and learn some new stuff. Find out more about the Discover Your Diva workshop
Releasing your sexy, sassy, inner Diva is a liberating experience. Life will never be the same – honest!